RetirementHomes.com - ageism

Do you want to live to 109?

aadmin — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:00:31 +0000

A few weeks ago my grandfather, Sam Baker, passed away at the age of 109. He spent most of his life toiling in the prairies of Western Canada as described in this Winnipeg Free Press article. I and other family members, believe that he was much older (my estimate 113) but the official record is 109. So how did he do it? What was it like to be a alive during the last century?

Here’s a sample list of accomplishments that my grandfather witnessed:

Creation of Commercial Air flight
Introduction of Household appliances – refrigerator, electric stove/oven, can opener, microwave, etc.
Invention of the automobile and the development of the Interstate Highway
Adoption of Indoor Plumbing
Eradication of Polio, Measles and Smallpox
Prohibition
The Great Depression
World War I and II
Construction of the Indoor Mall
Onset of Computers and the Internet

After surviving the “dirty-30s” as a farm equipment dealer in Hamiota, Manitoba, (population of less than 1,000), he bought and successfully operated a chain of women’s clothing stores in and around Brandon, Manitoba. He married late in life (36 – the same age I was when I married), settled into a modest house in Brandon, and raised two daughters and a son.

At 85, he retired from the store, and travelled extensively with my grandmother (who predeceased him 11 years ago). After her death, he spent the balance of his life reading the newspaper in Winnipeg and frequenting the Winnipeg Senior scene.

My uncle stated at the funeral, he was what actuaries call the “Omega Man”, the last of his generation. A man of quiet dignity, he wore a jacket and tie every day, and walked almost 3 miles daily (to the bank and to the coffee shop) well into his 100s. An infrequent speaker, he was prepared to offer his opinion on a variety of matters when provoked. I spent a few days each year with my grandfather at his office in Brandon, cottage at Clear Lake or home in Winnipeg. On most of these family visits, I acted like a rambunctious toddler or teenager, unappreciative of his experiences.

In the last few years I listened intently and asked him questions about his life. On my last visit, several weeks before his death, all there was to say was “I Love You.” We had said it all. We knew the end was near, so I hugged him one last time. My daughter Orli kissed him and we left.

So what does it take to live to 109?

Based on my decades of discussions with my grandfather here’s what I know:

Speak only when you have something important to say
Treat your family better than your friends
Stay away from gossip and idle talk
Never argue with your wife, she’s always right
Lead by example, not with words
Enjoy the simple pleasures in life

Speak when you have something important to say

There is too much chatter in today’s Twitter society. My grandfather engaged in friendly conversation on a regular basis and loved interacting with people, but he rarely spoke in public. When he did speak, he did so with meaning and purpose. He hardly spoke at family gatherings, but when he did, people stopped their idle talking and listened. Later in my life, his personal conversations with me were so packed with value, it required that I decompress and ponder for a few days. These most private conversations possessed important messages he imparted to me.

Treat your family better than your friends

Sadly, most people treat their friends better than their family. As the youngest son in a family of five brothers and two (younger) sisters, my grandfather ensured that the family stayed together. Throughout his life, even when his brothers and their children lived far apart from each other, he made sure that disagreements amongst individual family members were dealt with and not left to fester.

Stay away from gossip

My grandfather enjoyed the routine banter of life, but he was not one to engage in gossip or act in a mean spirited way with his words. On occasion, he did not disclose things that he wanted to say to other people. My grandfather never told my uncle that he appreciated the care and assistance he had provided to him in the last decade of his life, but he confided this information to me several times. After my grandfather’s death I realized how much this “omission” had affected my uncle.

Never argue with your wife

As a person who’s been married for over eight years, it’s easy to say this, much harder to live it. My grandparents had a special relationship, sharing many hardships and heartaches. Given their circumstances, they were able to live their lives to the fullest. My grandparents never argued in front of me. There was never any tension in their home. My grandfather took it upon himself to be the peacemaker in the relationship. I can only hope that my relationship with my wife survives their 60+ years.

Lead by example

My grandfather lived a modest life and made sure that we understood the difference between right and wrong. He didn’t tell us what to do, he lived it. He took care of his possessions, ensuring his 1985 Lincoln was tuned and cleaned after each lengthy road trip or 5,000 km (whichever came first). He treated friends, family and associates with dignity and compassion. While he was a tough negotiator, he respected those with whom he worked.

Enjoy the simple pleasures of life

My grandfather was not tremendously wealthy, but he took advantage of opportunities when they arose. Without fail, he would have a cocktail shortly before dinner (usually scotch & water, but also white rum and Sprite). He loved spending time with his grandchildren (at least initially) and his friends, and going for long walks along Winnipeg‘s Wellington Crescent and the River Heights area.

Lessons from my grandfather

In modern day business language, we ask: what are the key take-aways that we can learn from Sam Baker. However, I prefer to look at his life lessons to be lived every day.

Treat people with respect. He had his own version of the “golden rule”. He didn’t like everyone, but he treated them with respect. I’m going to ensure that that I’m respectful of those that I interact with on a regular basis.

Show appreciation. My grandfather grew up in a time when fathers were hard on their children and some of that rubbed off on him. Later in his life he used to tell me that he loved me. He appreciated my uncle’s efforts as primary caregiver, though he rarely said anything. I’m going to tell and show people that I appreciate them and their effort s more than before.

Watch your tongue. I’m a bit of an introvert and so I don’t really like mixing in large crowds of people. When I do talk to people, I’m going to be more conscious of what and how I say things.

Communicate more. Because of my introverted nature, this one is going to be hard for me. I don’t really like to talk, so it means that when I speak, I’ll make my comments more meaningful and less superfluous. Also, I will be writing a lot more than in the past.

Enjoy life with all it has to offer. My wife constantly reminds me about how to stop and appreciate what we have been given (four amazing daughters, and her, an amazing wife), and I am forever reminding her to slow down. Somewhere we’ll find a happy medium, but I’ll be sure to have a glass of whisky or beer after 5 pm in my grandfather’s honor almost every day.

I will miss the visits with my grandfather (including the famous cocktail hours) but I'm certain that these lessons he inculcated in me will stay with me and my children forever.

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Senior Celebrities

Words Matter - Paradigms Matter More

aadmin — Tue, 30 Jul 2013 06:16:22 +0000

The difference between the right word;
and the nearly right word;
is the difference between lightening
and the lightening bug.
Mark Twain

Viewing the sudden interest in the terms used to refer to older adults, be they Baby Boomers or older, reminds me of the Rip Van Winkle children’s story.

I see Rip played by the media, advertisers and business and their fascination and preoccupation with the youth market. In spite of the coming reality of a maturing marketplace, they were too lazy, apathetic or ageist to attempt an understanding older consumers and the values that guide their decision making. They ignored the warnings by a few visionary consultants, such as the late David B. Wolfe, attempting to help them understand how older and younger consumers differ.

Just as Rip awoke from a 20 year nap and was shocked by the changes, American businesses and the mainstream media are waking up to the fact that the median age of adults in the US increased by over a decade while they were asleep at the wheel.

Today, articles and conference topics on boomers, a new word for ‘senior’, or retiring the term retirement are proliferating. However, many of these articles and presentations are accompanied by warnings from paradigm keepers, now often disguised as SEO specialists, arguing that ‘senior’ is the term used most often to search for programs for older adults and therefore should not be abandoned. Clearly, understanding older consumers has a long way to go.

To exacerbate the problem, the fascination with Baby Boomers continues, mostly because advertisers and businesses think they understand them. As the market potential becomes more and more obvious, consultants, authors and trainers are pontificating on how to capture this elusive, boomer beast using adaptations of traditional tools and approaches…simply applying the new technologies using old paradigms is not producing results.

During a 1991 magazine interview, I warned that “large numbers of qualified consumers will not respond to terms like senior, senior or other terms used to describe the older consumer.” I further encouraged organizations serving older adults to “ignore age in promotions and communications and just talk to the person.”

During numerous presentations in the early 90’s, senior living industry professionals were advised that “terms like retirement community, continuing care retirement community and nursing home limited their market potential.” This advice was generally ignored as the numbers of older adults continued to swell and participation in “aging programs” declined. For retirement communities, the average age of people entering “continuing care retirement communities” rose from 72 to age 82.

Over the last three decades, I have moderated many focus groups with older consumers and concluded that, although many people over the age of 65 find the term senior citizen to be acceptable, they do not associate themselves with that segment of the market. In one memorable group of adults in their 70’s and 80’s, participants were discussing the positive and negative aspects of words used in advertising copy such as senior, elder, senior citizens, mature adults, older adults, etc.

When asked to come up with a new term, one participant responded simply, “Bill has served me pretty well thus far so I will stick with that.” Based on the simplicity of this response and my responses, the author titles the article, The Best Label for the Elderly is No Label at All!

Why Words Matter – It’s Not Just a Preference

To keep our conscious minds from being overloaded with unimportant information, our brains screen what messages reach our consciousness. The brain sorts through billions of bits of information each moment to select information for the conscious mind to think about based on their life experiences, world view, habits and personal preferences. Clearly, the process is more involved in the 70 year old consumer that a thirty something.

The brain does not process words; it processes pictures and sensory data in context with the circumstances. If there is a perception that "senior" means old, frail, dependent, bingo player, or other traditional stereotypes, the mind of a the targeted customer may "exclude" whatever is associated with that word from conscious consideration if the targeted consumer does not view themselves as fitting the stereotype. For example, the current stereotype that frustrates marketers in the senior living industry is the perception that “retirement community” means a place to go when your health is failing…a place for the frail – the elderly.

A targeted older consumer’s eyes and ears may detect what you are trying to tell them, but unless the context allows their brains to sense personal relevance, little if any of the message content will reach their conscious mind. The challenge therefore is creating messages that resonate with the values shared by older adults to make it past the mental screening process – values like autonomy, altruism, connectedness and spirituality.

Those organizations seriously interested in adopting a new paradigm must begin by sensitizing all team members to the power, both positive and negative, of the words they use. They must also emphasize the value to be gained by using more inclusionary terms to describe older consumers, communities and services while avoiding the use of exclusionary terms (words shrouded in stereotypes that could be perceived negatively). Inclusionary/ conditional terms allow people to screen marketing messages based on their expectations, aspirations, needs, values and life experience rather than preexisting stereotypes. Inclusionary terms are more likely to be positively perceived than the terms traditionally used in communications targeting older consumers.

Even if you believe that 70% of your prospective customers have no problem with a stereotypical term like senior, but 30% hate it; why would you choose to ignore 1/3 of the market on purpose? Like Rip Van Winkle, some organizations are waking up to the new reality and modifying brand strategy by creating a new identity: Elderhostel is now Road Scholars, The American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging is now LeadingAge, etc. However, embracing a new paradigm involves more than name changes and the use of more inclusive terms.

To Change Consumer Perceptions – Change Your Paradigms

Dr. Stephen Covey, author of the highly praised best seller 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, framed the problem saying, “No one sees the world as it really is; we only see the world as we are.” In other words, no two people have exactly the same view of the world, but our worldviews can be easily distorted by the categories we create with the words we use and the meanings we have come to attach to those words. It is the use of those categorical terms (senior, retirement, nursing home, facility, etc.) and the stereotypes perpetuated by the media that has resulted in the exclusionary vocabulary of aging.

“Our paradigms are our most deeply held unconscious set of assumptions and values; things we take for granted; that which determines our expectations, frames the questions we ask and structures our approach to what we do,” stated Danah Zohar in Re-wiring the Corporate Brain. “We need our paradigms to make sense of the world around us; but if we do not continually question our views we can become trapped or constrained by them.” Or as Seth Godin observed in a recent blog, “real change is cultural change, and you must go about it with the intent to change the culture, not to merely make the easy change, the easy sale.”

When it comes to designing communities and services for older adults, many developers and managers continue to use operating and management models created to serve a relatively need-driven, under-educated, and frail population of adults who had few choices. While the homes in today’s retirement communities are bigger, common spaces nicer and activity and wellness areas more plentiful, too many operating models and programs are grounded in command and control management and medical model continues to dominate health services.

Since so few have successfully targeted the mature consumer, evidence on what works best is limited. Some have explored the mature market using traditional methods only to conclude there was little potential because consumers failed to respond. They blamed neither the messenger nor the message, but the intended recipient. Likewise, millions of dollars have been spent teaching aging sensitivity without first developing an empathetic understanding of the consumer and their decision-making processes. Unfortunately, this sensitivity training often reinforces rather than correcting aging stereotypes.

As businesses continue to track the elusive elder beast, there will no doubt have varying degrees of success as they begin to embrace the principles of ageless marketing. To increase the probability of success, one must first abandon the paradigms that worked so well in yesterday’s youth market; and adopt an ageless approach more likely to appeal to a maturing consumer base while not alienating younger segments.

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Senior Living Professionals

Ageless Marketing Matters

aadmin — Tue, 09 Jul 2013 07:18:34 +0000

In 2013, the United States ‘celebrated’ a historic milestone that has gone generally ignored by governments, businesses and nonprofit organizations. For the first time in history, those ages 65 and older outnumber those under the age of 15.

This is a change of epic proportion and yet little has been done to adapt marketing materials, hiring policies, sales training or aging programs and services. When the media or politicians do recognize the growth of the older market it is to view it as a growing crisis, problem or challenge rather than an opportunity.

Not only is this the most dynamic demographic shift in history, the members of the new consumer majority are uniquely more informed, better educated and autonomous than prior generations. Yes, the baby boom, pig-in-the-python, phenomenon that fueled yesterdays mass market now are to ‘blame’ for the lack of effectiveness to today’s marketing and advertising messages. While their life experiences were unique, the boomers are developmentally aging just as the generation the preceded them.

In spite of a growing body of evidence that the older brain and mind process information differently than younger minds, ad agencies, marketing companies and aging organizations continue to follow the features and benefits paradigm developed to communicate with yesterday’s youth market. Paradoxically, the members of the New Consumer Majority of age 60 plus consumers and the explosive youth market of yesterday are the same people…but different.

Common Marketing Missteps

For the past two years, I have had the honor of judging marketing materials for a competition sponsored by the International Council on Active Aging (ICAA).

A few examples of marketing missteps in many entries along with suggestions for improvement follow:

Excessive use of sans serif fonts (aerial, Calibri, etc.), which are harder to read and slow the processing speed and comprehension of older readers. Sadly, younger creative directors who grew up in the computer age have embraced sans serif as it now dominates web sites and emails. Interestingly, sans serif was created because the first computer printers could not print serifs; not because it was easier to read on computer screens.
Printing on enamel paper stock which creates glare bothersome to older eyes. A quality matte paper stock should be the standard with a 12 pt. serif font such as Times New Roman. To create more depth in color photos, try using spot enamel on the photos only.
Focusing on objective appeals using features and benefits rather than emotional appeals that connect with life experiences, later life values and experiential desires. An objective appeal with excessive details is more likely to be dismissed as so much hyperbole by experience older consumers. The presentation of a product, service or idea should be done in a manner that is more suggestive than descriptive since the older mind is context sensitive. When using an emotional appeal, enough is said to get general interest, and enough left unsaid that each person’s brain can complete the picture by drawing on their own life experience rather than that of the copy writer.
Using stereotypical, exclusionary terms such as senior, elderly, boomer, zoomer, etc to segment consumers. Older consumers are not always conscious of their frame of reference (negative stereotypes), but disregard information that does not fit their reality. The brain is context sensitive and fills in the missing pieces of a picture with a bias toward one’s world view, values and life stage. Before publication, review all materials and delete all terms that could conjure up negative images of aging. Then, re-read the copy and realize how little impact these descriptors actually have.
Using sedentary stock photo images rather than older consumers involved in meaningful pursuits. Pictures that tell a story will have a greater appeal that posed stock shots.
Talking about perceived consumer needs rather than the values of targeted consumers using a language of exclusion. As stated, appealing to emotions is essential for gaining an older consumer’s interest. When your message is relevant to the prospect’s interests and grounded in their internal life stage values, the message is more likely to survive the brain’s screening & reach the conscious mind. Objective appeals require first gaining the prospective customer’s interest; however, reason will not fully kick in until the emotions have given the green light to think about your offer.

What is confusing to those of us who have spent our careers trying to convince businesses, nonprofits and government agencies of the potential of an aging market place is why they refuse to accept what author Tom Peters might call a “blinding flash of the obvious.” For example, Dove challenged ageism through its award-winning Campaign for Real Beauty. One advertisement and billboard featured a 95-year-old model and posed the question: “Withered or Wonderful? The campaign resulted in a 700% rise in product sales in the United Kingdom and 600% in the U.S. within the first two months of the campaign’s launch; and yet few companies followed suit by embracing positive aging.

The Dove campaign chose to present aging in a positive context and were rewarded by consumers of all ages. This campaign clearly demonstrated that consumers do not see what you want to them to see, but what their brains want them to see by filtering with an unconscious set of assumptions, perceptions and aspirations. In other words, they did not just want to know Dove wanted their business; but understood the importance of a positive aging self esteem.

Last year, I opened a statewide conference for aging network service providers with a 3 minute, 2011 commercial for Taiwan’s TC Bank created by Ogilvy and Mather Taiwan that asks the question, "What do people live for?" The commercial is based on the true story a group of older men seeking purpose and adventure in spite of a variety of physical infirmities and concludes with the Bank’s positioning line, “For Ordinary People with Extraordinary Dreams.” Spontaneous applause followed the viewing, which has happened every time I have shown the spot as part of a presentation.

The failure to embrace and expand on this approach no doubt stems from a lack of understanding of later life values. As the late David B. Wolfe observed in a 1998 article in American Demographics magazine:

There is no better way to begin dealing with those challenges (marketing to older adults) than by making a concerted effort to learn more about adult development. Few consumer researchers and marketers have any grounding in adult development psychology. This is a costly deficiency. Knowledge of adult development can provide critical information about consumers that is not available from traditional survey and focus group research.

If you believe the old adage that the majority rules, organizations are foolish to ignore the power of the aging marketplace. In less than 7 years, one in five consumers will be over age 60 and that number will continue to grow. To hold onto the marketing paradigms of yesterday’s youth dominated marketplace is simply fool-hardy.

From Paradigm Keepers to Innovators

Even with the positive, bottom line results that are possible, companies continue to ignore the benefits of embracing a new marketing paradigm. Even as the effectiveness of traditional advertising continues to erode, few have embraced ageless marketing principles. Likewise, a majority of aging service organizations and communities for older adults continue to embrace outdated medical models of operation and programs that inadvertently perpetuate ageism.

When it comes to aging, these organizations are like processionary caterpillars, which move in a long procession, one leading and the others following with their eyes half closed and heads snugly fitted against the rear extremity of his predecessor.

In the late 1800’s, John Henry Fabre, the great French naturalist, conducted a most unusual experiment with some processionary caterpillars. These caterpillars blindly follow the one in front of them, hence, the name. Fabre carefully arranged the caterpillars in a circle around the rim of a flowerpot, so that the lead caterpillar actually touched the last one, making a complete circle. In the center of the flowerpot he put pine needles, which is the preferred food of the processionary caterpillar. The caterpillars started walking around this circular flowerpot.

Around and around they went, hour after hour, day after day, night after night. For seven full days and seven full nights, they went around the flowerpot. Finally, they dropped dead of starvation and exhaustion. With an abundance of food less than six inches away, they literally starved to death. Much like many organizations creating communications targeting older consumers or managing aging services, the caterpillars confused activity with accomplishment.

In spite of the evidence, organizations defend actions as the way it has always been done, tradition, standard practice, regulatory requirements, congressional intent or a variety of other excuses to justify holding on to approaches they understand. Of course, they continue to experience repeated failures despite the untold potential that lies easily within reach. These organizations are blinded by their own limiting beliefs and the inability to consider alternatives.

From wellness centers, to communities for older adults, to ‘senior centers’, to cities and communities …we are in the business of facilitating human connections. And, if we do it well, we create vibrant/magnetic places that are not just active and appealing, but experiential and authentic. In the sea of sameness and other possibilities, organizations need to ask WHY they are worthy of the consumer’s interest. What makes your offer unique AND compelling?

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Senior Living Professionals

New Chinese law allows elderly to sue adult children for not visiting

aadmin — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 13:33:41 +0000

The Silver Wave is often seen as a Western phenomenon, but many countries around the world are experiencing aging populations. One nation seeing a significant graying of its residents is China, home to 1.4 billion citizens, and these demographic changes are creating new challenges for the country’s government.

As recently reported by Bloomberg News, Chinese officials are moving forward with plans to allow the country’s senior citizens to sue their adult children for not visiting enough.

Currently numbering more than 200 million strong, China’s elderly will have the law at their disposal beginning July 1, and they will be able to sue their children for neglect.

“Old people left alone at home are very lonely and lack both physical and psychological care, so it's actually better to live in a home like ours where we have people to care for them,” according to Yang Youling, director of the Xiyanghong Elderly Home in the city of Qufu.

Yang told the news source that despite the benefits of assisted living communities in China, many seniors in the country see their move into such homes as not being in their best interests, and so this new regulation will give them the ability to voice their concerns more loudly.

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Rural police department asks public to report older drivers

aadmin — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:32:25 +0000

Seniors and senior advocates are crying foul after a local police department began asking residents to report older drivers who appear to have driving problems.

As reported by GlobalNews.ca, the The North East Dementia Network Coalition Safe Driving Task Force was established last month in Sudbury, Ontario with the intention of preventing unsafe driving, but opponents say it smacks of age discrimination.

“If [someone] is really erratic, sure, rat people out. The thing is, that’s not what’s happening here,” Susan Eng of the Canadian Association of Retired Persons (CARP), told the news outlet. “This is targeting older people.”

But police officers with the task force say they are simply taking precautions, and examining leads when they come in, and not jumping to conclusions immediately.

Sudbury Constable Meghan O’Malley told the news outlet that if there is a call made about an older person, police officers will go to that person’s home and speak to them, and if necessary, investigate further to see if they pose a risk to themselves or others by driving.

What do you think of the task force’s new initiative? Is it a smart way to protect older drivers, or is it unfair to older people? Tell us in the comment section below:

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Ageism

Five ways seniors can fight ageism

aadmin — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 15:51:58 +0000

Congratulations! After decades of hard work, a long career and efforts spent saving money, retirement has finally arrived. You have all the time in the world to see friends and family, and spend time on hobbies, volunteering, or worldwide travel.

But although you may be happy in retirement, ageism exists, and misconceptions about seniors and retirees exist. To help make a mark, a recent article from USNews.com shares five ways seniors can make a positive impact on their environment:

1. Be positive – Focusing on the negatives brings yourself, and others, down. To put people in a better mood, be positive.

2. Listen – It is human nature to want to speak about themselves, but when someone listens to others without speaking, that goes a long way.

3. Don’t judge – Another trait of being human is looking at others and making judgments about their character. No one can ever know the mind of another person, so it’s best to avoid judging them.

4. Be charitable- Whether it’s with your time or money, being charitable means helping out those less fortunate, and giving them support and encouragement.

5. Live it – ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ is not an ideal attitude to win over fans, according to USNews.com. Instead, think of yourself as a role model.

What do you think about these tips? Do you already practice them at home or in your assisted living community? Tell us about it in the comment section below:

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