RetirementHomes.com - Caregiving

The Best - and Worst - Ways Caregivers Can Take Care of Themselves

aadmin — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 21:16:23 +0000

Caring for an elder takes time, patience, and a lot of energy. While people want to do best by their loved ones, it’s essential that there is also a support system in place for those doing the caring. The majority of caregivers have their own lives, families, worries, and jobs. Trying to do it all yourself will only lead to burn out, and compromise your ability to provide good care. The benefits of creating a support network are numerous, and not only is it good for the caregiver, but for those ailing as well.

Support Networks for Elderly Caregivers

Most communities have a wide variety of support programs in place to assist caregivers. In addition to friends, family members, and community groups, it can give immeasurable amounts of relief to those taking on the primary job. Some places to find support include:

Local hospitals and senior service organizations: Many communities have programs that provide meals, rides to appointments or shopping, and additional caregiver services.
Health care: Check coverage to find out if the person you care for is qualified for any additional assistance, like in-home nursing, occupational or physical therapy, or a social worker.
Community groups: Many churches, due-paying community groups, and other non-profits have assistance programs in place. These services can range from phone check-ins to home visits and transportation.
Personal services: Hired aides will come into the home to assist with basic daily living tasks. Consider finding help with cleaning, bathing, feeding, and laundry.
Adult daycare: Retirement communities and senior programs often have adult day programs. These centers can give you a much-needed break while offering enrichment activities and social opportunities.
Friends and family: Make a list of weekly caregiving needs you fulfill. Pull trusted friends and family members aside and ask if they’re willing to help. If they are, find tasks that they are both comfortable with and good at. Don’t hesitate to call on others if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Most organizations that involve working with the elderly population are more than happy to answer questions and point you in the right direction. Get to know what’s available in your community by making some calls.

6 Benefits of Having an Elderly Caregiver Support Network

The ability to do your best: Caring for the elderly can get overwhelming and exhausting. By calling on your support network, you’ll be able to rejuvenate and de-stress, and continue to give the best care possible.

A more organized approach: By creating a support network, you’ve already started to identify the needs of your elderly loved one. It gives you the fuel to organize care, put consistent weekly routines in place, and make things work more functionally. This takes a lot of excess time and energy out of the process.

Financial relief: Many people overlook free or reduced-cost services in the community. They also don’t look at medical coverage thoroughly enough. If you’re paying for everything out of pocket, a support network can give some much-needed financial relief.

Emotional support: Handling issues solo encourage feelings of isolation and loneliness. Having others to simply talk to can boost your own morale and overall well-being, and help you feel validated for all that you do.

Enrichment: You are not the only one who will benefit from a support network. The elderly thrive with additional social interaction, contact with a variety of people and personalities, and programs that boost their physical, mental, and social health.

Personal time: Everyone needs time to do the things they love. Enlisting the help of your support network lets you engage with your family and hobbies, and relax.

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Family and Personal Care

How to use pet therapy correctly with seniors

aadmin — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 09:12:29 +0000

Have you considered purchasing a pet for an elderly loved one, but thought it might be too much for him/her to handle? The truth is that this added responsibility may be just what he/she needs. Recent studies have shown that pet ownership offers a wide range of benefits for the elderly. Below is a look at some of the top ways your loved one could benefit from introducing a pet into his/her life.

Provide Companionship One of the most prevalent benefits of having pets is that they offer companionship. Common pets, such as dogs and cats, attach to people very quickly. This every day companionship can help to fight loneliness and depression, especially in elderly people. Pets can also boost a person’s overall mood and serve as a protector for seniors that live alone.

Minimize Stress There is no need to worry about overburdening your loved one by giving him/her a pet. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Pets can actually help to reduce stress. Just playing with or petting a dog or cat for several minutes can lower a person’s stress rate almost instantly. This, in turn, can reduce the risk of several serious health conditions, such as heart attacks, and it can help to lower a person’s blood pressure. The benefit of introducing a pet into the home will far outweigh any extra work it takes to care for the pet.

Gives Purpose Everyone needs to feel like he/she has a purpose in life. This is a serious issue for many seniors because they may not be physically able to complete many of the tasks they deem important. In addition, their children are all grown up and there is no need to care for them on a daily basis.

This can leave many seniors feeling like they are not needed. The introduction of a pet into their life can give them purpose again. Best of all, most pets only require minimal care.

Increase Activity Level If you are concerned that your loved one is not getting enough exercise or socializing enough, a pet may just do the trick. Caring for some types of pets, like a dog, requires consistent training, regular visits to the veterinarian, and daily walks. This will force your loved one to remain active on a daily basis in order to care for his/her pet properly. By taking the dog to the vets or the local dog park, he/she will also meet other people in the area and have the opportunity to socialize with other pet owners. It is important to talk to your elderly loved one before introducing a pet into his/her home.

This will ensure that you select a pet that he/she will enjoy. You also need to be sure that your loved one is physically capable of caring for the pet, or that you have people willing to step in and help. If you are not sure if a pet is right for your loved one, many assisted living facilities and senior service agencies offer pet therapy opportunities. This will give you the chance to see how your elderly loved one responds to being around a pet before you commit to purchasing one.

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Family and Personal Care

10 Tips for Preventing Falls In The Elderly

aadmin — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 19:43:23 +0000

Falling is dangerous for anyone, especially seniors. Bones become more brittle as people age and a fall can be seriously debilitating for a senior citizen. Broken hips, arms and legs mend at a slower rate as the body ages. Head injuries can be fatal.

The Center for Disease Control is "taking a stand" on helping seniors prevent falls with programs for seniors and care givers. The program is called STEADI, Stopping Elderly Accidents, Deaths and Injuries.

You can take action to prevent falling and enjoy an active life as a senior with a few precautions.

Exercise

STEADI recommends Tai Chi, Yoga and other exercise programs for maintaining and improving legs and core muscle strength. Many senior living communities offer classes in these exercises along with aerobics. Walking, swimming, golf, tennis, bowling and other sports are also highly recommended for seniors.

The objective is to stay in good condition, improve strength, coordination and balance. People want to stay independent as long as possible and enjoy their activities.

Eyes and hearing check-ups

Get an annual eye check-up and make sure you have glasses if needed. Be careful on stairs if you wear bifocal or multi-focal lenses. You want to see any obstacles that might be in your way. Hearing checks are also important so you can hear warnings that someone may call out to you.

Stairway safety

It's easy to trip on steps if you can't see them. Stairways should have railings and handholds. Steps should be lighted, especially at night.

Special non-slip stair treads can be added to hard surface and carpeted stairways for better traction.

Grab bars are helpful

Install grab bars in bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchens and other areas. They prevent falls.

Showers without borders or curbs are elements of Universal Design that makes bathrooms easily accessible to everyone. Bathroom and kitchen flooring and mats should be non-slip and kept dry.

Avoid heights

Keep items you need on low shelves and cabinets so that a chair or step ladder is not needed to reach them. This applies to food, dishes, medications and other items used on a daily basis.

Walkway safety

Outdoor pathways and walkways should be free of debris, hoses, wheelbarrows and other gardening equipment. A person may forget to put away outdoor equipment and trip over a hose or bump into the lawn mower.

An uneven pathway with cracks or broken flagstone can be dangerous. Walkways should be dry when possible and free of snow and ice during the winter.

Indoor safety

Keep all electrical cords out of the way and against walls. Unplug and remove a cord on a heating pad or other small appliance that has been used temporarily and may be in a pathway.

Rooms should be well lighted.

Carpeting and floor coverings

Carpeting should be tight and tacked down at seams and doorways to avoid tripping.

Area rugs and throw rugs should adhere to the floor. It is also easy to trip over a raised doormat. Hard surface flooring should be the non-slip variety in all rooms where it is used.

Shoes

Wear comfortable shoes with good support in place of flip-flops and high heels. If you wear slippers, use the type that have tread on the soles instead of a smooth surface.

Medication reviews

You should review any previous falls and your medications with doctors. Several prescribed medications may have side effects that cause dizziness and other problems. You should talk to your doctor about your risk of falling.

The National Institute of Health advises seniors to take these preventive measures so they do not have to fear falling.

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Family and Personal Care

How to care for yourself when you're a caregiver

aadmin — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 13:50:41 +0000

Unquestionably, the only person who would ever tell you that care giving is an easy job is someone that has never had to do it themselves. For the person needing care, the loss of independence coupled with increasing physical and perhaps mental frailty can be exceptionally harrowing. Although care is usually given with love, it can - on occasion - be received with some measure of resentment, especially if it means a reversal of the parent/child roles that you have been used to fulfilling.

Even on a good day, with a cordial relationship based on love and respect, looking after a senior member of the family can lead to increased stress levels, and eventually care giver burnout. When your focus is someone else's needs, your own can sometimes fade into the background, and it's surprisingly easy to lose sight of the situation getting out of control until it's too late.

Signs that the frustrations of losing some of your own freedoms, relationships and indeed privacy to care for someone else are getting too much shouldn't be overlooked. If you notice that you're constantly physically and emotionally wrung out, or worse still entertaining thoughts of hurting yourself or the person you're caring for, it's time to find ways to take breaks to alleviate the strain.

Make sure you're sleeping properly. It can be difficult to get decent rest if you're having to get up every few hours to check on someone or give medication. However, napping when the person you're caring for is also asleep during the day might help you top up too.
Cook proper meals where possible. Relying on snacks and quick meals from the chiller cabinet instead of preparing food from scratch may be essential to stay on top of care duties at times, but where you can, cook meals in bulk to stock up the freezer.
Talk to others. You may feel that none of your family and friends understand your position, or even that they've forgotten or abandoned you. The sad truth is that unless they've experienced a similar care situation, they may not be able to empathize to the degree that you need. Message boards and online support groups can be a lifeline where simple solidarity accompanies offers of practical solutions.
Take advantage of respite care. Progressive conditions such as dementia, especially where challenging or even violent behavior can accompany physical decline inevitably reach a point where not only can you not do it alone any longer, but you may have to consider full-time residential care so that your senior can establish a routine that will be comforting and reassuring to them. Even if you haven't yet reached this stage, making sure you can step away from the care situation from time to time is essential to your well being.
Don't beat yourself up. You're not required to feel "up" and positive all the time, and nor are you obliged not to feel like screaming with frustration. Caring is tough, and it will get on top of you at times. Don't blame yourself for the bad days.

The most important thing of all to accept is that if you're the caregiver of an elderly parent or in-law, then you are unlikely to be in the first flush of youth yourself. Pay close attention to your own physical and mental health, especially if you have a family history of classic middle-age disorders such as high blood pressure or arthritis, and don't ignore warning signs that all is not well. After all, you can't provide care if you need care yourself.

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Family and Personal Care

Attending Your Senior Loved Ones Doctor Appointments

aadmin — Fri, 11 Apr 2014 10:47:05 +0000

If you have a family member who is getting older, you know they’d rather stay as independent as they can. One way of staying independent may be going to doctor’s appointments alone—regardless of how much you want to accompany him or her.

So you have to do a little convincing before your elderly loved allows you to accompany him or her to doctor’s appointments. What’s the best strategy? It depends on the person you are talking to. You know everyone is different. However, there are some basic strategies you can use:

Offer a trial period. If you know your family member is a negotiator, make a deal. Just say that you’d like to accompany him or her for a short time. This gives your family member time to try the idea out before totally committing. The fact is, the idea is acceptable when he or she feels in control of the situation.

Show the worry. Maybe your loved one is a people pleaser. You want to tug at his or her heart strings. Many older individuals will refuse to let anyone accompany them regardless of the reason. For instance, your mother may be stubborn, but as soon as you talk about how worried you are about her health, she concedes.

Let your loved one prove you wrong. Your relative may be someone who loves to be right. In fact, he or she may be boasting about being healthy (even though that’s not the case). So let your relative “prove” to you that he or she is healthy by letting you go with them to the doctor’s visits.

Make a pact with him or her. This is for the negotiator in the family. Why not let him or her accompany you to your doctor’s visit? Of course, it must be a fair exchange. You must be allowed to go to his or her doctor’s appointments. You may want to explain the benefits like having a second set of ears to hear all the facts, another mouth to ask questions you may not have thought to ask, plus an additional outing afterwards of course!

Make a day of it. You may want to convince your family member to make it an eventful day. Doctor’s appointments are often dreadful experiences because it’s all about tests, procedures, personal questions and possible lectures from doctors. If you are allowed to their doctor’s visits, you’ll plan a fun day afterwards. For instance, going to a movie, lunch or a shopping trip.

You know your family member. He or she is deeply independent. So no amount of lecturing will convince him or her to let you go to doctor’s appointments. That’s why you have to get a little creative. Your approach depends on your loved one. However, using any one of the above tips might help.

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Family and Personal Care

How to Know When it is Time for Home Care

aadmin — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 08:22:49 +0000

The baby boomer generation is aging, and with that comes concerns from their adult children. How do you know when your parents need some help? Here are some signs that might mean it's time to consider a home care service for your parent(s). If you see any of these signs, you'll also want to speak to your parent's physician, as some of them can indicate depression, dementia, or other health problems that need to be addressed.

Decline in Housekeeping

If your parents have always kept their home clean and neat, and you begin to see piles of newspapers, dirty laundry scattered around, signs of pest infestation, or just usual clutter, it could mean he/she is having trouble getting housework done and could use some help with everyday chores.

Decline in Grooming

Wearing dirty clothes, not washing hair, unbrushed teeth or other declines in personal grooming are a warning sign you should pay attention to. Many older adults are afraid of falling in the tub, others may be suffering from pain that makes daily self-care difficult, and still others may not be able to see or smell well enough to recognize poor grooming. All can indicate they may need some help.

You're Worried About Safety

Worrying about your parent's ability to perform everyday tasks safely is a major indicator that some help at home might be needed. Whether you're worried about slips and falls, safety while driving, ability to prepare meals without starting a fire, or ability to read prescription medication bottles, if you're at all worried about your mom or dad's safety, get in touch with a home care agency and your parent's physician.

Change in Diet

Old age can bring changes in diet, and those are not nessasirly a problem. If, however, you have a parent who has always prepared his or her own home-cooked meals and suddenly starts living off TV dinners or takeout, you'll want to find out why. It could be related to fears of forgetting something on the stove, age-related loss of taste and smell, or even depression. Some help with cooking can help ensure your mom and/or dad gets the nutrition they need.

Other Signs of Trouble

Finally, you'll want to watch for other signs of trouble. Scorched pots and pans, for example, could mean forgetting things on the stove. Loss of interest in previously-enjoyed activities can signal depression or other health problems, items piled around the home present fall risks, and "wall walking" or moving from one piece of furniture to another while walking could mean your parent feels unstable on his or her feet and might need an assistive device.

Final Thoughts

Talking to your parents about home care may not be easy, but these services can prevent severe injuries or even death due to falls or other easily-avoided issues. If you or a loved one needs help please give us a call. We would love to come and talk to your parents about our in-home care services that can help them maintain their independence and quality of life.

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Senior Housing

Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Sundowner's Syndrome

aadmin — Fri, 07 Feb 2014 11:52:53 +0000

When patients experience periods of extreme agitation and confusion between the late afternoon hours and into the evening it is often referred to as 'sundowning' or Sundowners Syndrome. The patient affected will appear confused and agitated, restless. Irritability is often directed towards caregivers or nursing staff. Your patient may also have difficulty sleeping or staying asleep. Scientists are not entirely sure what causes the flare up of symptoms in the evening hours, but since it follows such a predictable pattern, caregivers can take steps to alleviate some of the stress and aggravation connected with this syndrome.

Triggers for Sundowners Episodes

Patients most commonly affected by Sundowners Syndrome are those afflicted with Alzheimer's or dementia, though the symptoms can also appear with other conditions such as degenerative eye conditions. Some medical experts believe Sundowners is closely linked to the natural day and night cycle of the human body and the changing lighting conditions of later afternoon and early evening are often cited as a trigger. Staff shift changes at the nursing home or even simply dinner time can become triggers for an episode during these hours of heightened agitation.

It can be heartbreaking to see your patient suddenly feel the urge to get up and wander, or engage in erratic behavior such as removing all of their clothes in public. Often it is difficult to persuade them from following their course of action. This is when the patient tends to get irritated and at times even violent. Shouting and even lashing out physically is not uncommon in patients afflicted with sundowning. Confusion and memory loss only increase stress on the patient and those that care for them. It is important to remember that unfortunately they seem to have no control over their actions at these times.

Possible Solutions for Sundowners Syndrome

While there is no known cure for Sundowners Syndrome, treating the illness that causes it can go a long way towards alleviating the symptoms. You can observe the patient and find out what will most likely trigger an episode, then work on a solution. If it’s a change in lighting, for example, perhaps an additional lamp will help. If a lot of commotion at certain times of the day, which may occur during a shift change, try to keep it as far from the patient as possible. Since the disorder is linked to sleep disorders as well, a mild sedative may be prescribed to help the patient through these challenging hours. Changes in diet and routine to keep stimulus such as exercise and caffeine intake restricted to the morning hours only can also make a difference.

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Health Guide

Mental Health

How to Deal with the Dangers of Senior Gambling

aadmin — Mon, 21 Oct 2013 13:36:07 +0000

If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if I win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun. Chico Marx

Seniors are at equal risk as other adults for gambling problems, but possess vulnerabilities that cannot be overlooked. Dr. Sandra Rasmussen, a family therapist at the Williamsville Wellness Treatment Center in Hanover, VA, said that bingo and casino gambling are marketed to seniors as social outlets.

Though most play responsibly, the entertainment value can be alluring. Local churches, American Legion chapters or senior centers can act as authentic gaming outlets. “It’s for a good cause,” Rasmussen acknowledged, “but I’ve treated many seniors who will live on tea and toast to play bingo or take trips to casinos.”

Rasmussen has seen the major signs of seniors with gambling problems. Concerned children call on behalf of their parents. The refrigerator is bare. There’s weight loss. Certain behaviors are suspicious – coming home late – lack of contact with children.

Signs of Problem Gambling

Christine Reilly, the Research Director at the National Center for Responsible Gaming (NCRG), highlighted that retired people should be aware of many mental health issues, including addictions. Retirement is a transitional period which can include loss of friends, death of a spouse, and lack of work structure, leading to depression and anxiety.

According to Reilly, seniors exhibit the same signs of gambling addiction as the general population, including: spending inordinate amounts of time playing games of chance; withdrawal symptoms when they try to cut back – like with drugs and alcohol; gambling for high stakes to achieve the desired mood; lying to family and friends.

“They experience difficulty admitting or even knowing they’re addicted,” said Reilly. “It creeps up on people. It doesn’t happen overnight.”

Reilly encourages prevention strategies:

Have a budget
Keep it fun
Gambling is not a way to make money or escape from problems
The odds are always with the house
Evaluate views of superstition and luck
Gamble with friends, not in isolation

Holly Wetzel, the Vice President of Communications for the American Gaming Association (AGA), attributes education as a key to assisting seniors with gambling problems. Her organization partners with the treatment community to direct people in need of support. "Gamble within your limits for losses," she said. “Don’t borrow money to gamble, and understand how the games work and their odds."

Rasmussen, a treatment specialist, has seen that addiction can defy accepted logic. “Seniors need to identify high-risk situations,” she said. “Like check days. What’s the plan when the social security check or pension check arrives?”

If there’s an identifiable addiction problem, seniors can work with wellness centers and their children to pinpoint urges or cravings. “They need alternatives to gambling. A phone list of recovering seniors to call is critical.” She recommended that adult children pay bills directly rather than giving money to parents with gambling problems.

“Gambling is meeting a need for addicted seniors,” said Rasmussen. “Identify the need – boredom – loneliness. Maybe the family isn’t visiting enough.”

The Need for Accountability

She pinpointed the need for accountability. Seniors with gambling problems need to be shown the consequences of their actions, the dangers to their savings. “We try to show them that they’re responsible for their problem – their loss of money – but they’re also responsible for their recovery.” The shift is away from negativity especially when depression is involved. She agrees with Reilly, from NCRG. Overall health concerns need to be addressed.

Reilly stressed the requirement to deal with the mental health issues underlying gambling disorders. She emphasized the cues to problem gambling – avoiding casinos or lottery vendors – finding replacement activities that provide enjoyment.

All sources agreed that gambling can provide a responsible social outlet with proper monitoring.

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Family and Personal Care

Do you want to live to 109?

aadmin — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:00:31 +0000

A few weeks ago my grandfather, Sam Baker, passed away at the age of 109. He spent most of his life toiling in the prairies of Western Canada as described in this Winnipeg Free Press article. I and other family members, believe that he was much older (my estimate 113) but the official record is 109. So how did he do it? What was it like to be a alive during the last century?

Here’s a sample list of accomplishments that my grandfather witnessed:

Creation of Commercial Air flight
Introduction of Household appliances – refrigerator, electric stove/oven, can opener, microwave, etc.
Invention of the automobile and the development of the Interstate Highway
Adoption of Indoor Plumbing
Eradication of Polio, Measles and Smallpox
Prohibition
The Great Depression
World War I and II
Construction of the Indoor Mall
Onset of Computers and the Internet

After surviving the “dirty-30s” as a farm equipment dealer in Hamiota, Manitoba, (population of less than 1,000), he bought and successfully operated a chain of women’s clothing stores in and around Brandon, Manitoba. He married late in life (36 – the same age I was when I married), settled into a modest house in Brandon, and raised two daughters and a son.

At 85, he retired from the store, and travelled extensively with my grandmother (who predeceased him 11 years ago). After her death, he spent the balance of his life reading the newspaper in Winnipeg and frequenting the Winnipeg Senior scene.

My uncle stated at the funeral, he was what actuaries call the “Omega Man”, the last of his generation. A man of quiet dignity, he wore a jacket and tie every day, and walked almost 3 miles daily (to the bank and to the coffee shop) well into his 100s. An infrequent speaker, he was prepared to offer his opinion on a variety of matters when provoked. I spent a few days each year with my grandfather at his office in Brandon, cottage at Clear Lake or home in Winnipeg. On most of these family visits, I acted like a rambunctious toddler or teenager, unappreciative of his experiences.

In the last few years I listened intently and asked him questions about his life. On my last visit, several weeks before his death, all there was to say was “I Love You.” We had said it all. We knew the end was near, so I hugged him one last time. My daughter Orli kissed him and we left.

So what does it take to live to 109?

Based on my decades of discussions with my grandfather here’s what I know:

Speak only when you have something important to say
Treat your family better than your friends
Stay away from gossip and idle talk
Never argue with your wife, she’s always right
Lead by example, not with words
Enjoy the simple pleasures in life

Speak when you have something important to say

There is too much chatter in today’s Twitter society. My grandfather engaged in friendly conversation on a regular basis and loved interacting with people, but he rarely spoke in public. When he did speak, he did so with meaning and purpose. He hardly spoke at family gatherings, but when he did, people stopped their idle talking and listened. Later in my life, his personal conversations with me were so packed with value, it required that I decompress and ponder for a few days. These most private conversations possessed important messages he imparted to me.

Treat your family better than your friends

Sadly, most people treat their friends better than their family. As the youngest son in a family of five brothers and two (younger) sisters, my grandfather ensured that the family stayed together. Throughout his life, even when his brothers and their children lived far apart from each other, he made sure that disagreements amongst individual family members were dealt with and not left to fester.

Stay away from gossip

My grandfather enjoyed the routine banter of life, but he was not one to engage in gossip or act in a mean spirited way with his words. On occasion, he did not disclose things that he wanted to say to other people. My grandfather never told my uncle that he appreciated the care and assistance he had provided to him in the last decade of his life, but he confided this information to me several times. After my grandfather’s death I realized how much this “omission” had affected my uncle.

Never argue with your wife

As a person who’s been married for over eight years, it’s easy to say this, much harder to live it. My grandparents had a special relationship, sharing many hardships and heartaches. Given their circumstances, they were able to live their lives to the fullest. My grandparents never argued in front of me. There was never any tension in their home. My grandfather took it upon himself to be the peacemaker in the relationship. I can only hope that my relationship with my wife survives their 60+ years.

Lead by example

My grandfather lived a modest life and made sure that we understood the difference between right and wrong. He didn’t tell us what to do, he lived it. He took care of his possessions, ensuring his 1985 Lincoln was tuned and cleaned after each lengthy road trip or 5,000 km (whichever came first). He treated friends, family and associates with dignity and compassion. While he was a tough negotiator, he respected those with whom he worked.

Enjoy the simple pleasures of life

My grandfather was not tremendously wealthy, but he took advantage of opportunities when they arose. Without fail, he would have a cocktail shortly before dinner (usually scotch & water, but also white rum and Sprite). He loved spending time with his grandchildren (at least initially) and his friends, and going for long walks along Winnipeg‘s Wellington Crescent and the River Heights area.

Lessons from my grandfather

In modern day business language, we ask: what are the key take-aways that we can learn from Sam Baker. However, I prefer to look at his life lessons to be lived every day.

Treat people with respect. He had his own version of the “golden rule”. He didn’t like everyone, but he treated them with respect. I’m going to ensure that that I’m respectful of those that I interact with on a regular basis.

Show appreciation. My grandfather grew up in a time when fathers were hard on their children and some of that rubbed off on him. Later in his life he used to tell me that he loved me. He appreciated my uncle’s efforts as primary caregiver, though he rarely said anything. I’m going to tell and show people that I appreciate them and their effort s more than before.

Watch your tongue. I’m a bit of an introvert and so I don’t really like mixing in large crowds of people. When I do talk to people, I’m going to be more conscious of what and how I say things.

Communicate more. Because of my introverted nature, this one is going to be hard for me. I don’t really like to talk, so it means that when I speak, I’ll make my comments more meaningful and less superfluous. Also, I will be writing a lot more than in the past.

Enjoy life with all it has to offer. My wife constantly reminds me about how to stop and appreciate what we have been given (four amazing daughters, and her, an amazing wife), and I am forever reminding her to slow down. Somewhere we’ll find a happy medium, but I’ll be sure to have a glass of whisky or beer after 5 pm in my grandfather’s honor almost every day.

I will miss the visits with my grandfather (including the famous cocktail hours) but I'm certain that these lessons he inculcated in me will stay with me and my children forever.

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Independent Living

Senior Celebrities

Sales Tips for Selling to Family Decision Makers

aadmin — Thu, 01 Aug 2013 10:40:12 +0000

“Old age isn’t for sissies”
Bette Davis, American Actress

The Hollywood movie star was reflecting on her personal experience, as she aged. She might have added “old age isn’t for family caregiver sissies.”

Caregiving is hard work, especially for the oldest daughter. A number of research studies have profiled the typical family caregiver. It’s the eldest daughter, age 49 caring for her widowed mother, roughly age 79.

According to research by Stephen Tweed, Leading Home Care, the pecking order in larger families, is usually the next oldest daughter who lives close by, followed by the daughter-in-law and finally the son.

The two generations represented here are the Matures, late 60s and up, and the Boomers, late 40s to late 60s. These are two inherently different generations with different attitudes, values and decision-making abilities.

Boomers are more likely to have living parents. The “longevity bonus” we are experiencing means 70% of Boomers have one or more living parents. But family responsibilities don’t stop there. About a third of those with parents have children at the same time.

Overall, moving or downsizing into a new location such as your retirement community is one of the hardest and most difficult ones associated with an older person at this stage of life. Adding to it, the physical distance between parents and adult children can result in weakened family connections.

About 90%of your sales effectiveness dealing with family decision-makers is based on your ability to develop rapport with family members in both generations. Developing rapport can be a tall challenge.

My advice: Build a personal relationship with both. Stand out from others in your profession by taking a supportive position to help them get through what might be disharmonious times.

Use technique that work with both generations. Use the concept of communicating through relevant stories involving others families in similar situations.

Bring into play your personal experiences…with your older parents and relatives. Share with them how you or your associates have helped those who needed advice.

Focus on the emotional connection between older adults and their grown children. Focus on the family. Show that you care about each as a person. Ask them how does it feel for them? Does this or that make sense?

Usually, the parents don’t want to be dependent on others. They want to be independent and self-sufficient. Try to work those words into your sales conversation.

The adult children want to be able to control their lives. Present information in ways to give them options but let them decide. Most of all, Boomers want help simplifying their lives. Show that you understand that.

Help them to be strong and understand that caregiving is not for sissies.

For more help, go to my webinar for www.retirementhomes.com, “How to Sell to Seniors and Their Adult Children At the Same Time.”

Here’s a link to it on YouTube.

Tags:

caregiving

management

Categories:

Caregiving

Family and Personal Care

Management

Sales

Senior Living Professionals