A family caregiver recently asked me:
I appreciate that it's good to take time away from caregiving. I do schedule time away from my caree, but feel guilty for doing so even though I know I want and need the time away. I wonder: Is feeling guilty related to self-esteem?
What a great question.
The short answer: Yes.
Lets break it down.
When you hit the pillow at 10 p.m. last night, you thought: I hope tomorrow will be better.
But, tonight, at 12:30 a.m., you think: This starting over every day is just killing me.
Two weeks ago, my good friend Mary died. She was a single woman whose only living relative was her cousin who lives several hours flying time away. Mary relied on her friends as her support network and I was one of those friends.
I once attended a seminar given by Alan Seale, a leadership and transformation coach. During the workshop, Alan taught us his take on how to manifest our goals and dreams.
One tip he suggested was to Remember the future. Sounds like a oxymoron, doesn't it? How can we have a memory of an event that has yet to occur?
During summer mornings, Mother and I sit outside the front of the house in Queens, NY, where I grew up and rest in the cool breeze before the heat of the day arrives. My memories return to summer days of long ago.
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Leo Tolstoy.
When your childhood included constant criticism from your parent, excessive sibling rivalry or worse, you may be left with painful, unacknowledged truths. Re-engaging with your parents and siblings to care for your parent may mean that old roles that you have struggled to overcome re-emerge.