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My Family needs help with Mom

cateyez
New User

Apr 23, 2008, 12:55 AM

Post #1 of 6 (18174 views)
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My Family needs help with Mom	Can't Post Private Reply

My Family and I have been dealing with Moms AD for quite a while now. We have moved her twice. First we moved her to a smaller apt for herself and my stepfather who had been terminally Ill for a very long time and when he past we moved Mom to my sisters home. My Mother has since declined to the point that she needs remiders to eat and drink, she can't recognize money denominations and can't make change. My Mother was once a very good seamstress and would also crochet and knit. She can no longer do any of it . She does'nt think she is Ill and wants to move back to her apt. She beleives she can take care of herself and She is refusing assisted living, She is very very angry, untrusting and resistent to everyones help. We are all at a lose and at our whits end at what to do. My sister is checking into getting a compitency order but I am afraid at how that will affect my Mothers previously Loveing Heart. Anyone with a similar situation or anyone that can give me some help would be so appreciated.....Thank You and God Bless

(This post was edited by cateyez on Apr 23, 2008, 12:56 AM)

Senior62
New User

Sep 14, 2008, 8:11 PM

Post #2 of 6 (17529 views)
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Re: [cateyez] My Family needs help with Mom [In reply to]	Can't Post Private Reply

I recently had to deal with a similar problem with my father. I had to tell him a little white lie (that the water main was broken where he used to live) and no one could live there.
It is really hard to have someone legally declared incompetent so you have to try every trick in the book to help them.

laurb34
New User

Dec 9, 2011, 1:29 PM

Post #3 of 6 (4886 views)
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Re: [cateyez] My Family needs help with Mom [In reply to]	Can't Post Private Reply

No matter what do not put your mother into a home it will make it worse.. Just respect what she wants and dont try so hard! She is going trough stages in her life and i really disagree with putting her in an assisted living home because that will make them go crazy! i had the same experience with my mother in law and her doctor said that she was bipolar.

Careprovider
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Jan 4, 2012, 3:00 AM

Post #4 of 6 (2707 views)
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Re: [cateyez] My Family needs help with Mom [In reply to]	Can't Post Private Reply

Just respect what she wants If she want to live in home don't put her in assisted living. If you don't have time to take care of her, appoint caregiver. They give assistance to your mother in her own home.

(This post was edited by Careprovider on Jan 4, 2012, 3:00 AM)

snugharbor
New User

Jan 18, 2012, 9:11 AM

Post #5 of 6 (1576 views)
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Re: [cateyez] My Family needs help with Mom [In reply to]	Can't Post Private Reply

What I wish I'd known: I was determined to keep my father in his own home and refused offers of help, as well as the repeated suggestions that I look for a "place" for Dad. Never! I believed what many of your other replies said about ALL nursing homes. I was wrong. When a crisis hit, we had to make a quick decision w/o much prep time. We did finally find a GREAT solution, but it came much later than it had to.

I wish I had done 3 things, earlier than I did.

1. Gather information NOW, before you think you'll ever need it. Check factual web sites, like medicare.gov nursing home compare, as well as sites of retirement homes, brochures, ads, etc.

2. Visit the places that match your priorities and take a list of questions with you. Listen for attitude as well as answers as you talk with staff in the building.

3. Arrange for a week or more respite stay for your mother before you make that final decision. You need a break! And you can tell so much more from a short stay than you can from a brief tour.

If coastal North Carolina is on your list of possibilities, I hope you'll visit Snug Harbor on Nelson Bay, where I now work and where my dad found the happiest time for his last years of life.

Check the website: www.snugharboronnelsonbay.com or call us: 252-225-4411. If you'd like to speak directly with me, ask for Jennifer, ext.241.

Whatever you decide, I wish you and your family the best of luck and a happy and healthy future.

kynasmith
Novice

Jan 19, 2012, 4:22 AM

Post #6 of 6 (1567 views)
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Re: [cateyez] My Family needs help with Mom [In reply to]	Can't Post Private Reply

Her angriness is the sign of her age, nothing else. Till now she spend life according to her but now you are taking some decision related to her life, so it is a big issue for her. It will be beneficial for you if you heir a home care service for her.
Homecare

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