MGordon_MD
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Jun 21, 2010, 11:04 AM
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By Dr. Michael Gordon
Frisbee, one of my all-time favourite cats, had to be put down. He, unlike our other cats, which were mixed breeds and often “rescue” cats, was a pure Abyssinian-sleek, agile and beautiful and reddish in colour.
When the day came, I was in great turmoil. My wife, Gilda, his “alpha,” with whom he shared his primary bond, was away, and I was left to handle his woeful cries as he lay on the living room carpet, thin from weeks of attempted but inadequate eating, portending his underlying serious disease.
Frisbee was not young, and we had already decided, along with our most wonderful and supportive veterinarian, that we wouldn’t “investigate” him more than we had done, which had already been quite stressful for him. Frisbee had taken to crawling under the covers on my side of the bed during the day, even though at night he slept huddled in my wife’s hair, where he purred himself to sleep.
I ran down to wake, Eytan, my 20-year-old son, to tell him I had to take Frisbee to the vet to have him put down. “I will go with you”, he said, words that melted my heart. I really dreaded taking the cat in a cold, inanimate crate for his last car ride. Eytan bundled Frisbee in his arms for the 10-minute ride, and Frisbee looked out from the crook in his arm and then just nuzzled into him. I was crying uncontrollably.
The process did not take long, and the veterinarian was as supportive as anyone could be. He said sometimes the loss of someone’s pet, and companion, is also the loss of a pet owner, if he or she decides against getting another pet, because it was just too much to go through the loss of a pet.
That day, in an e-mail to a colleague, I mentioned Frisbee, and I received a heart-felt commiseration with the account of the shared feelings by my colleague on the sad loss of his dog some years previously. Later, while on the phone with a dear friend to whom I mentioned Frisbee’s demise, he told me about his sister losing a dog and how powerful an experience that had been for her. My sister and niece, who have had a menagerie of dogs and cats over the years, undertook a course of end-of-life chemotherapy for one of their dogs, because letting him go without the heroic intervention was too painful a decision.
I recall vividly each of the animals that I have had over my lifetime that died, and each memory carries a sense of loss coupled with feelings of wonderment and warmth when I consider the companionship and affection provided by those lovely creatures. Prior to Frisbee, the need to put down Shamma, our dear Labrador, old, frail and immobile from arthritis, was the most poignant of those experiences.
Pets are wonderful companions for people of all ages, but especially for seniors. A pet’s loss might lead some to eschew another pet to avoid the pain of loss. But it might also be considered a reason to get another pet, after a period of mourning, as a tribute to the lost pet. The bond of love and affection can then be shared with a new pet.
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Dr. Michael Gordon is Medical Program Director, Palliative Care Baycrest Geriatric Health Care System in Toronto, Canada and Professor of Medicine, at the University of Toronto.
Dr. Gordon is the author of the engaging memoir Brooklyn Beginnings: A Geriatrician's Odyssey, published by I-Universe.
Brooklyn Beginnings is available in bookstores and online at: Indigo-Chapters, Amazon.ca, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble and I-Universe
Moments That Matter: Cases in Ethical Eldercare: A Guide for Family Members, is available online at Amazon.ca.
His latest release is Late-Stage Dementia: providing comfort, compassion and care. It is available at Amazon and Indigo.
Visit Dr. Michael Gordon's website.
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