MGordon_MD
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Apr 2, 2009, 8:34 AM
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Passover like many of the Jewish or other religion’s holidays flourishes as a combination of family reunification, religious rituals, and the sharing of food, a key component of most religious festivals. Passover often has associations because it is almost universally celebrated in one way or the other and most Jews have long-standing vivid recollections of Passovers past.
At one recent Seder, the memories of previous experiences was recalled by family and friends seated around the table. The focus of recollections ranged from the effects of wine on the young, the nature of dishes served and how one recipe was different from another and how our forbears conducted their Seder compared to how we do it now.
A recent phenomenon which I observed this year was the introduction of new versions of the Hagaddah being used along-side older standard versions and one revered grandparent’s old Hagaddah. In terms of the conduct and flow of the Seder it was at times a humorous challenge as each person’s reference point was periodically different from the one being read from and the flow of the narrative was at times interrupted. This could be interpreted as a positive expansiveness of the Passover story experience or an impediment to completing the chronicle and getting to the meal while the readers were still conscious enough to enjoy it.
The experience reminded me of a previous experience from which all of us can learn and which I understand as a geriatrician but which is sometimes perceived with some expression of amazement; that is having an elder in the family, especially one who is experiencing cognitive impairment being able to effectively conduct the Seder from their original Hagaddah, with the appropriate rhythm and tones that they had used throughout their years of leading Seders. This might be the same person who cannot remember the details of a conversation that occurred ten minutes before.
The importance of this observation is that those of us who will deal with aging parents and relatives have to understand that so-called “memory-loss” as the hallmark of dementia is somewhat a misnomer – it is not remote memory per-se that is lost- in fact distant memories are often vividly retrievable. It is the immediate recall and retention component of memory which is the main attribute of the memory impairment that we see in dementia. This phenomenon for the lay person often seems counter-intuitive. I have heard family members say and once had a medical legal case reflect this concept, “I can’t believe my father does not remember what he had for breakfast a half hour ago, but can tell me the whole menu of the first Passover he had when he arrived in Canada from Poland in 1938. In the legal case a lawyer that was asked to assist in a will change erroneously believed that because he could reminisce with the patient about his knowledge of the lawyers’ father from 40 years previously, he should be able to change his will about which he could remember nothing fifteen minutes after the substantial and materially important changes were made.
The message to loving family members is: Let your aging and cognitively impaired parents use their past memories to advantage and as creatively and socially meaningfully as possible. If you are going to introduce changes to ingrained patterns of participation be prepared for some chaos during the transitional stage which may be worthwhile, depending on what in the end you wish to achieve. And most importantly, get as much joy out of holidays with family and friends – a key to our Jewish traditions.
This article originally appeared in the Canadian Jewish News.
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Dr. Michael Gordon is Medical Program Director, Palliative Care Baycrest Geriatric Health Care System in Toronto, Canada and Professor of Medicine, at the University of Toronto. He is co-author with Bart Mindszenthy of Parenting Your Parents.
Parenting Your Parents is available in bookstores and online at: Indigo-Chapters, Amazon and Barnes & Noble. It is available in a US edition: Parenting Your Parents: Support Strategies for Meeting the Challenge of Aging in America.
For bulk orders email info@dundurn.com. Call: 416-214-5544 or Fax: 416-214-5556
Dr. Gordon is the author of the engaging memoir Brooklyn Beginnings: A Geriatrician's Odyssey, published by I-Universe.
Brooklyn Beginnings is available in bookstores and online at: Indigo-Chapters, Amazon.ca, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble and I-Universe
Visit Dr. Michael Gordon's website.
(This post was edited by MGordon_MD on Apr 2, 2009, 8:42 AM)
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