DoctorMarion
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Mar 16, 2008, 8:03 AM
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At the age of 81, my father recently told his five children that he’s gay. How should we deal with this shocking announcement? Victoria in Ohio
This is actually a more common occurrence than you might think among the elderly. Many elder homosexual adults have been practicing their lifestyle for decades before they’re honest about it with their family. Your father has obviously come to the point in his life where he wants the family to truly know who he is. Doing so allows him to accept himself.
The good news is that we’re now living in a culture where homosexuality and other alternative lifestyles are becoming more accepted. Gone are the days when homosexuals must remain “in the closet.” But I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for your father to deal with his true nature.
I know it’s not easy for you to deal with this either. But the first thing you have to do is accept your father for who he is. You don’t want a lot of negative energy and conflict over the situation. It’s crucial that you and your family communicate openly and find a comfort level. Facilitate honest and truthful dialogue about the new reality. Allow it to be discussed rather than covered up. Don’t impose a belief system on anyone in the group. Accept the differences and learn to celebrate them if you can. Too many people focus on our differences in life. I don’t see the differences. I see the similarities, and I’ve found that finding common ground allows for powerful, positive relationships to blossom.
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During the past three decades, Marion Somers, Ph.D., (Doctor Marion) has provided care for more than 2,000 elderly clients while she owned and operated a thriving Geriatric Care Management practice. It is now her goal to help caregivers everywhere by providing valuable insights and information in her book, website, and radio PSAs. To purchase Doctor Marion's book and to find a wealth of elder care information, please visit DoctorMarion.com
Elder Care Made Easier is available in bookstores and online at: Amazon
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