DoctorMarion
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Jan 20, 2008, 1:52 PM
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When I first arrive at my mother’s home, it’s difficult to break the ice and we often have a terrible visit. How do you get things off on the right foot? Andrea in Iowa, 49
When I go to visit an elder, it’s easier if I bring something with me. I’m talking about some sort of prop we can focus on to take his/her mind off of any ailments and difficulties. It could be a newspaper or magazine article that relates to his/her interests. Maybe your mother doesn’t have a vanity set and hairbrush/mirror anymore. Bring her one so appearances can be kept up. Bring a book if she’s a reader. One client of mine collected old keys so I brought along a set of rare skeleton keys and he was thrilled.
Bringing a prop is a way to facilitate communication. It shows someone you thought about them and that they’re still a part of this world. I bet you’ll be better able to get things done if you work the entire visit around a conversation. Use a prop to open new doors for other conversations. This allows your elder to feel relaxed. Once he/she is relaxed, opening up is much more likely to occur.
Almost anything can start a conversation. Bring your mother in to the present by tapping into the past and present at the same time. I’ve arrived with bow ties, a cigar box, even an old movie poster. Try to connect with your mother on her terms. Go to her world. It’s where she’s comfortable.
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During the past three decades, Marion Somers, Ph.D., (Doctor Marion) has provided care for more than 2,000 elderly clients while she owned and operated a thriving Geriatric Care Management practice. It is now her goal to help caregivers everywhere by providing valuable insights and information in her book, website, and radio PSAs. To purchase Doctor Marion's book and to find a wealth of elder care information, please visit DoctorMarion.com
Elder Care Made Easier is available in bookstores and online at: Amazon
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